For some, wedding dress shopping is a breeze. They know what they want, they know where to go to get it, and they enjoy a lovely afternoon out (or two) to find it. After trying on a handful of gowns they have the most magical ‘bridal’ moment and it’s a done deal.

For a great many more it’s just another overwhelming part of the process.

Maybe you don’t usually wear dresses and truly don’t know where to start?
Maybe you’ve got too many people pushing their expectations on to you?
Maybe you do know what you want but your budget just can’t get there?

Whatever the reason, if one (or both) of you is planning to wear a dress for the big day and you’re feeling more ‘hell to the no’ than ‘yes to the dress’, take the advice we offer regarding any planning you’re finding stressful and break the process down into a more manageable strategy:

Because it’s fine if you don’t.

But you will find this process easier if you get some ideas together for what you do like. That’s right, it’s Pinterest time!

For attire apprentices we’d recommend starting with one board for ‘just everything I like’ before looking out for patterns (hmm…I keep coming back to jumpsuits…) and creating new boards for each one. If you’re really stuck, then think about the type of wedding you’re having (glamorous all-out affair, relaxed garden bbq etc.) and what the weather might be like (October in York versus Summer in Cyprus) and simply google that + wedding dress.

It can be helpful (but by no means essential!) to get your head around some of the lingo that goes with wedding attire, and if you know the sorts of shapes and colours that suit you, even better. But don’t stress at this stage. We’re still idea gathering.

If you’re a doyen of dressing and know your body shape, cuts and colours that suit you and the difference between a mermaid and an A-line, then by all means go Pinterest mad. But we’d still recommend narrowing down to a shortlist of say three key ideas.

No really!

Do you actually care about this stuff or do you just think you should?

Let’s measure how much:

Budget

According to Bridebook, the average spend on a wedding dress is £1,580, around 7.5% of the total budget (excluding rings and honeymoon). Obviously, you’ll need to double that if there are two of you wearing dresses.

How does that feel?

A. Ridiculous! Who spends that kind of money on something they’ll wear once?

B. Hmm…I wouldn’t normally think of spending that much, but this is my wedding!

C. Sounds about right

D. Errr…the dresses I love are WAY more than that

Provenance

Most brides want their dress to be their very own, unworn, pristine and pressed.

How much does that really matter to you? Take time to really reflect on this.

A. I couldn’t care less. I shop on Vinted all the time and as long as it’s what I want and looks great, then I’m happy

B. New is nice but I do love a bargain and wouldn’t hate having more money to spend elsewhere

C. I think it’s got to be new for it to feel special

D. No way I am wearing anything second hand - my look is one of my biggest priorities!

The experience

The majority of brides (65%) still prefer to buy from a specialist wedding boutique. That’s partly for the expertise and fitting, and partly for the experience - making a day of it with bridesmaids or family.

Is that something that is important to you as part of your wedding planning journey?

A. I find the shopping with others really stressful and won’t enjoy the pressure/attention at a boutique

B. Sorting my outfit is more of a ‘task to be done’ than a process I’m mega interested in

C. I feel like I (or a loved one) would feel robbed of a special moment if we skipped the boutique, but in the end, it’s all about finding the right outfit

D. I can’t wait to try on a variety of dresses with my favourite people on a special day out

Elegant modern wedding dress — Step 3

Collate your thoughts and priorities

Know what you want and answered mostly A?

All the places you usually shop (Vinted, eBay, FB Marketplace) are going to be your friend as usual, but checkout the posher end of the second-hand market too like Vestiarie Collective, Hardly Ever Worn It, Reluxe and wedding dress specialist sites like Still White, Bride2Bride or The Loop. You could even hire your outfit from Hurr (who often have 10 or 15% off your first rental special offers).

Bear in mind: You’ll likely need your dress tailored so beware of choosing anything with too ornate embellishment or beading. Get a friend to help you get your exact measurements (overall height, shoulder to shoulder, shoulder and/or armpit to floor, bust, waist, hips, waist and/or hip to floor) and ask the seller for all the same details. You can almost always take an outfit in or up, but if there isn’t enough fabric left in key places, there’s no letting out!

Know want you want and answered mostly B or C?

You might head to one boutique if it’s important to your Mum, but really, buying online is likely going to be the way for you. The options above are great if you’re not fussed about new, but there is a store for every budget if you want to be the only one to wear the ensemble. Coast has long-since led the way on affordable wedding attire, Georgia Hardinge’s core range are often available in ‘bridal’ colours (if that’s your thing) and even Harvey Nichols and Selfridges have offerings around the £500 mark. More in the middle range, Catherine Deane is the queen of separates (she does great dresses too of course) and who doesn’t love designer-but-a-bit-cheaper from The Outnet. You can spend a lot online if you’d like to: Net-A-Porter has a more than one Danielle Frankel gown at £11k+ available!

Bear in mind: If you want a highly structured/corset gown then buying online is going to be really tricky so we’d recommend going to a boutique. Sadly, this is often the case for plus-sized dresses too so maybe start with a boutique and see how you get on.

Answered mostly D or don’t know what you want?

You’re heading to a boutique (or two)! Whether you are trying or buying, follow our quick guide to get the most out of your visits.

Now you know roughly what you want, how much you’re comfortable spending and the most appropriate places to shop for your needs, you can actually get going!

As ever, a few more words of wisdom:

Be prepared to try something new

I know. I’ve just told you to curate a load of images of things you like. But I have seen a lot of brides surprise themselves with their final choice so don’t be too quick to rule out a colour or shape that’s a bit different to your usual style.

Trust your instincts

Having said that, if something is niggling at you, just hit pause. You can always place the order after a few days (or weeks) of reflection.

Keep your perspective

Having said that, if you’re really struggling to make a decision, don’t get hung up on the idea of perfection. Yes your wedding attire is important but if you step back from it, nothing about your wedding is actually life or death! And remember, for most brides, there isn’t this magical ‘this is the one’ moment. It’s usually far more nuanced than that.

Feeling fabulous > looking a certain way

No-one looks good if they are uncomfortable so above all, wear a dress that reflects you and that can have a good time in!

Wedding Dresses: How much and where from?

Step 1

Do you even want a dress?

Decide how much you care

Collate your thoughts and priorities

Now you can get shopping!